Getting My Joy Back

Four factors have impacted my emotional journey to bring me to the man I am today. 

1. Good Parents

My mom was able to stay at home and raise myself, my brother (2.5 years younger), and my sister (4.5 years younger). The stability of having my mom home and not having to go to different daycares really gave me a safe and trusting base that allowed for a peaceful childhood. My dad also had the flexibility in his schedule to come on field trips with us, join us for street hockey games, and take us fishing. This added to the loving, stable environment.

2. Bullying

I tried out for an AAA hockey team when I was 13. I did not initially make the team as I was younger and undersized (100 lbs vs. 160+ lbs) but I was allowed to practice with the team while I played in a lower division. A few games into the season I was called up and made the team. This did not sit well with the other players and I was bullied at every opportunity. I finally broke my collar bone during a game and chose not to return to the team or hockey after I had healed. I never told anyone the real reason for quitting was the bullying as everyone assumed I made the decision based on my injury. This experience caused me to retreat inside and become bitter, untrusting, and shy. It stole my joy and innocence.

3. Loneliness

As this was happening, I had also changed schools – switching from public to private. I came into the school knowing no one and found it difficult to make friends. I would wander the hallways during break just pretending to be busy and happy. It left me feeling lonely and I continued my retreat further inside.

4. Jesus

Winter of 2003 as a 24 year-old I got my joy back. The fourth and final emotional formation factor was my connection to Coastal Church and the Alpha Course. I had accepted Christ the year before but had not gotten plugged in or mentored by a local church. Through the training of Alpha, bible school, the Sunday messages, and numerous mentoring sessions, I finally understood and received the full truth of Christ. This began a transformation inside of me that allowed me to love myself and forgive the people in my past who had hurt me. I received a redeemed child-like joy that is amazing. Being a Christian is not easy, but for me it's provided purpose, joy, and an eternal friend in Jesus.